6th day of preschool

Dear Khoa & Mai An,

Today was Big Brother's sixth day at preschool. Every morning, Big Brother would cry and refuse to leave the house. You would walk up to Mommy and say that "today, daddy will go to work and I will stay home with mommy and baby an", and Mommy would pretend like I didn't hear what you just said, because not soon enough Daddy would swift you up the floor and buckle you in the car seat to depart for school. I would then cry while hearing the garage closes and knowing that you are now in a stranger's hand, at a strange place, and all I want to do is run after and pick you up into my arm's again, but I can't. I have to let you learn since in less than a month I have to return to work. All throughout the day, I would feel so much guilt and I think about you constantly (all the while all I want to do is to go pick you up). It has been rough for all of us - hopefully it will get easier soon. Seeing you so happy when I finally get to pick you up at the end of the day just give me so much gladness. You would sing all the way on the way back, asking Mommy about the cars and trucks that you see on the way. You are always very hungry so just seeing you happily eating would make me so so fulfilled. Today was the first day that you didn't vomit at school. However, you are still not sleeping very long, which means you go to sleep very early at night. I feel like I am not spending any time with you since I have to put Little Sister to sleep when you come home (which gives me more guilt).  Since tomorrow is the beginning of Holy Week, you will have time off and the three of us will be home again. It shall be fiasco again, but we will see.

Little Sister had your 2-4am woke up again after giving Mommy a break for a while. It has been quite difficult to put you to sleep (both during daytime and night time). Even though without Big Brother at home, you are not sleeping a whole lot more (3-4 hours).  You have learned to push Mommy away, even though it doesn't mean that you will sleep by yourself (something very new since you turned six months old). I don't want to "force" you to sleep, but if this pattern continues then we will have resort to that so that you will get the rest you need. It has been fun to hang out at home with just you alone, though you tend to be very clingy. Mommy doesn't get a whole lot done even with just you alone.  You always to be seeing Mommy, so I have to scratch away any plan to clean the house. We do a lot of reading when you are awake and toilet training (something that you are very very good at). Mommy has been taking naps with you during the day, so it is nice to be able to sleep with you and hold you in my embrace. Mommy will take you on walks (though short ones) in the morning (while thinking about Big Brother). Tomorrow, you will have your six month check-up. I am sorry that we will have to give you shots.  Even though Mommy was very frustrated with your sleeping today, i love it when I hold you in my arm and seeing you asleep peacefully. It is the best feeling in the world. I always try to remind myself that in a month I will no longer have this precious time.

Today, I try to savor every moment that i get to spend with each of you, my precious ones and how much I love you while you both are my precious little ones. Love love you both so so much.